Being Pinned
This is a text-only preview that omits formatting, video, pictures, and portions of the chapter.
If someone is on top of you and trying to do something to you that you do not want done, you have several strategies at your disposal. In some cases, the person may be an intimate partner, and your strategy may vary in this instance.
Let’s start with an intimate partner getting overly aggressive. A violent, guttural “No! Stop doing that!” may suffice to stop the assault. As one would-be rapist reported on Reddit:
I’m a pretty moral guy. But I think the thing that has always stuck with me…is how close I came to actually doing it. If I hadn’t looked up at her face and seen what she was feeling, I might have continued. In my mind, at the time, she wanted it.
If yelling at your partner does not stop the assault, you now know that this person is persisting in the face of clear instructions to stop and does not care about you at all, so therefore force is fully justified.
If your partner is a woman, use one hand to cover your genitals and keep the other hand free in case she is a complete lunatic. Say something like “this is really important to me and I know it is to you, too, so we should wait.” If this fails, you need to remove yourself from the bed by claiming you need to go #2. Grab your clothes on the way and then get out! If you have to push her off you, push her away from your escape route and get out as fast as you can. Or grab your clothes and lock yourself in the bathroom.
If there is a man on top of you and you were initially receptive, you should try your voice first. If that fails, then you have the right to inflict some serious agony on him. You have no choice but to fight as violently as you can, gouging eyes, smashing testicles, and doing anything else to keep yourself safe.
Importantly, if you do not wish to have anal sex (and therefore, by definition, suffer an anal rape), never let a man with whom you are being intimate get behind you! It is much harder to defend yourself when someone is on top of you from behind.
If it is someone with whom you intended to be intimate getting too aggressive, you can probably get out of the situation by claiming you have diarrhea and need to go #2 really bad. Grab your clothes on the way and get out! If that does not work, you are dealing with a real sicko and you need to fight like crazy to keep him from getting behind you.
If your hands are not restrained, the techniques we learned standing up are useful in ending the assault, particularly the eye gouge. You may also reach down to your assailants’ testicles, grasp one or both of them tightly, and squeeze as hard as you can without letting go.
The following video describes one woman’s use of this technique to devastating effect:
This is a preview that displays only a limited number of pages. The video is omitted.
As the following video illustrates, it does not take much force to incapacitate someone by striking their testicles, but you should still squeeze or strike as hard as you can.
This is a preview that displays only a limited number of pages. The remainder of the chapter is omitted.