Prevention is The Only Cure
This is a text-only preview that omits formatting, video, pictures, and portions of the chapter.
In a perfect world, we’d simply teach perpetrators not to rape and be done with it. But unfortunately, that solution does not exist right now. So, we are left with the only alternative: preventing crimes of opportunity by removing the opportunity.
That starts with recognizing dangerous situations. Following recognition, avoidance is our top priority. But we’re human and we all make mistakes, and some situations cannot be avoided. So, we must also learn to escape. And when all escape routes are closed, we must learn to fight our way out. We have found that without that component of last resort, courses of this nature are ineffective. With it, students feel empowered, confident and safer. As a result, they start thinking more about their safety because they feel like they have power over it. Without the self-defense component, students feel scared and helpless, and so they stick their heads in the sand and hope they are never attacked.
This book will teach you how to defend yourself. For this to work, however, you need to practice with someone to make sure the techniques you are using are being done correctly.
Recognizing a bad person
Being confronted by a criminal is a terrifying experience that can happen in a totally unexpected manner. More often, however, it involves an escalation of a situation that we know looks or feels bad, but we ignore those feelings because we are impaired, not paying attention, or we didn’t want to offend the criminal or our notions of polite society.
This is a preview that displays only a limited number of pages. A large portion of the chapter is omitted.
Yet our whole lives that is what we’ve been trained to do. “Fight fair.” Not this time. Never fight fair with a criminal. You must do everything possible to escape. A part of this book is teaching you how to fight criminals in a totally unfair way.
When preparing for a physical confrontation, try and take a deep breath. This will relax you and loosen your muscles, allowing you to hit harder and faster. This is why boxers “loosen up” prior to a match. Also repeat to yourself “I need to be ruthless” or maybe say that word to yourself over and over.
This is a preview that displays only a limited number of pages. A large portion of the chapter is omitted.
Trust your instincts
Always trust your instincts. Be in tune with them. As I mentioned during the Quiz, one woman escaped Ted because she felt a blanket of evil covering her.
This is a preview that displays only a limited number of pages. A large portion of the chapter is omitted.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of trusting your instincts! The legendary Kit Carson explored more of the American West than any person of his time, and did it during the most dangerous period in American history. Carson fought in savage battles against the Native Americans and in the U.S. Civil War. He hunted the most dangerous game and tracked the most dangerous criminals. He was, deservedly so, a legend in his own time, and there is unlikely anyone alive since Carson who exposed him or herself to more dangerous situations. Carson died in his home due to an aneurism the age of 60 when so many others perished in the wilderness. How? He trusted his instincts. As Carson biographer Hampton Sides wrote in the intensively researched Blood and Thunder, “When [Carson] got a bad feeling about something or someone, he was quick to heed his instincts.” If you learn only one thing from this book, it is this: Trust your instincts!
This is a preview that displays only a limited number of pages. A large portion of the chapter is omitted.
Proven self-protection methods
Prior to an attack, you can also use your voice to dissuade your attacker. Yell loud and aggressively something to the effect of “No! Get Away From Me!” Use that same voice you use when your brother or sister takes something that is yours. Practice that voice in the mirror.
In a foreign review of U.S. sexual assault studies, perplexed researchers from India observed:
Women are often advised to use non-aggressive strategies against sexual assault. Research suggests that this is a poor advice. According to one study, women who used non-forceful verbal strategies, e.g., crying or pleading with the assailant were raped about 96% of the time.
[…]
As adolescent girls constitute the largest group affected, self-defense training programs may be beneficial particularly at high-school and early part of college level. Rape prevention programs may be implemented which includes discussion and education about rape myths, prevalence of sexual assault, factors associated with sexual assault and sexual assault prevention.
These researchers have no interest in the politics that informs most of the bogus and false rape prevention advice available today. They care about one thing: the truth. Here’s the truth about attempted rapes based on research by the U.S. Department of Justice:
- Women who scream in fear or pain are the most likely to be raped, followed by women who do nothing at all or plead with their attacker.
- Women who yell violently and aggressively escape unharmed 50% of the time.
- Women who run escape unharmed 85% of the time.
- Women who strike back forcefully escape unharmed 86% of the time. Attempting to push the attacker away does not work. You must hit, kick, and knee your attacker as hard as you can.
- Women who fight back with a projectile or edged weapon escape unharmed 99% of the time.
It is a myth that the attacker will hurt you for resisting. The statistics do not bear that out. In fact, screaming in fear or pain is the strategy that most likely results in increased injury. Why? Because your attacker enjoys seeing you scream in fear or pain. That’s the very reaction your attacker was hoping to get from you. The more you scream in fear or pain, the more your attacker will typically hurt you.
Zoe Rayor contrasts her experiences in We Believe You by Annie E. Clark and Andrea L. Pino:
The driver was an Israeli man old enough to be my dad or even grandfather. We were almost to the beach when he pulled into an alley and locked the doors. It took me a second to realize what was happening and then I frantically tried to open the door but couldn’t. I froze. […] I didn’t know what to do, I went into shock and completely let go of control. He yanked my dress off, pulled down his pants, and raped me. After he was finished, he crawled back into the front seat, told me to put my dress back on, and then drove me to the beach as if nothing had happened.
[…]
Fast-forward two years. […] I suddenly woke up again with someone on top of me, and my body was pinned to the bed. […] He said, “Don’t say anything or scream or I’ll kill you.” […] A million thoughts came into my head. “Is this really happening again? Who the f*** is this? Am I going to be raped again? Am I going to let this happen?” That last thought came up, and I realized that I was not going to let this happen. I don’t know where my confidence came from, but I decided I wasn’t going to freeze this time. I was going to fight.
I couldn’t move my arms, but I immediately began screaming and my right leg shot up and kneed that f***** in the [testicles]. He jumped up and ran, and I chased him. I watched as he fled through the backyard, hurdled over a seven-and-a-half foot fence, and took off.
It is a tribute to Zoe’s courage that she was in a far weaker position during the second assault: jarred awake, pinned to the bed, and threatened with death by an assailant who was younger and more athletic than her first assailant. Yet she fought, and she won.
You also can win. This book is dedicated to showing you how.
Resistance Technique 2: The eye gouge & palm heel
Note: This information is worthless if you don’t practice it on a volley ball or similar target designed to represent the human face.
One question we frequently get is “what if my attacker is wearing glasses? Then palm heel strike to the nose, grab the glasses as you pull back, knee to the groin, and gouge the now unprotected eyes.