Why This Book?
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Some advocates point out that most violent crime is perpetrated by young men, but these advocates seem to forget that the vast majority of people who sign up for the most dangerous jobs involved in protecting others are also young men, who willingly become soldiers, police officers, firefighters, and other professionals who risk their own lives protecting people they have never met. Most young men are not criminals – they are in fact people who would act to protect others if they could do so.
As a young man, you deserve more than lectures on your supposedly violent proclivities. You deserve the tools you need to navigate a sometimes dangerous and often unfair world. You deserve a candid assessment of the risks to you and factual information on how to stay both safe and sane.
For over 30 years, I’ve worked with both perpetrators and survivors of traumatizing crimes as a juvenile rehabilitation counselor in a maximum-security unit, a crime statistician, and an attorney working pro bono for survivors of criminal violence.
I noticed almost immediately that most crimes followed certain patterns, and if a person could be taught to recognize those patterns, many of these crimes could be avoided or escaped without harm to the intended victim.
Now, I want to make one thing clear, which is that a criminal is always solely responsible for a criminal act. We should never blame victims for the criminal acts of others. But do not confuse responsibility with risk.
If you commit a crime and go to prison, you are putting yourself at a very high risk for assault. But no one, including even the most vile incarcerated offender, deserves to be assaulted, sexually or otherwise, and I have walked that talk because when I worked as a juvenile rehabilitation counselor in a maximum-security unit, I risked my own safety daily to keep murderers and rapists from murdering and raping each other.
I am also the father of three daughters — all black belts in TaeKwon Do — and at their request, I enlisted the best of the best in every field related to addressing the primary threats to young people to develop a state of the art program with one goal in mind: to keep our children safe.
That program, which forms the basis of this book, was the result of literally millions of dollars in time, money, and experience. It was developed free from political, religious, and commercial interests. We analyzed mountains of data from a wide variety of sources, and performed our own experiments when data did not exist. We created simple, easy to learn self-defense techniques. We then tested the program extensively and empirically, training thousands of young people, parents, and teachers.
What we found was nothing short of amazing. Students were empowered, not scared. They had fun at the program. They almost universally changed their behavior in ways that kept them safer. They felt fully equipped to respond in virtually any dangerous situation.
Here is what parents, students, and hosts have said about our program:
And here is what U.S. Representative Barbara Comstock said about it after attending one of our trainings:
In preparing the book and the program on which it is based, I also relied upon the experience of over 100 professionals in various fields, many of whom are listed in the acknowledgments section at the book’s conclusion, and I draw on some personal experiences and recount some mistakes I made at your age that I hope you don’t repeat. In addition, I frequently reference some of the most important books in history as they relate to your safety, such as the Bible, the Quran, Homer’s Iliad, Sun Tsu’s Art of War, and Herodotus’ Histories. People much smarter than I have consulted these books throughout the ages in part because the wisdom they pass on is invaluable.
I hope my efforts resulted in a resource that you will enjoy reading and find useful in many aspects of your life. Former Deputy Attorney General of Texas John Scott, who read an earlier version of this book, called it: “One of those rare books that can beneficially change the life of the person reading it. A must-read for every student.”
Note to parents
Many of the subjects covered in this book have a moral component that I think is best taught by a parent. This book does not seek to teach morality beyond a very simple code:
- Hurting others emotionally or physically, other than in defense of yourself, others, or your country, is wrong.
- Protecting others from harm is brave and therefore noble.
Otherwise, I speak in terms of heightened risks to safety, legal jeopardy, and mental health rather than right or wrong.
In addition, I seek to neither sanitize nor sensationalize. Certain crimes are described to make a point without going into the horrible details.
In chapter five, however, I recount in some detail television and newspaper reports about a rape of an incapacitated student at Vanderbilt University, which I felt was necessary to make three points: (1) many students witnessed this depravity and either participated in or failed to stop it and, even after the assault, refused to render aid to the survivor; (2) many students knew what happened and sought to protect the perpetrators; and (3) if that can happen at an institution as prestigious as Vanderbilt, it can happen anywhere. Sadly, students often cannot rely on anyone but themselves to protect them from predators.
For this reason, pay particular attention to chapter five’s discussion of substance abuse and encourage your son to practice the physical techniques in this book, the most important of which are the eye gouge, palm heel strike, punch, knee, and mule kick. As the great philosopher and martial artist Bruce Lee said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”