Prevention is The Only Cure
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In a perfect world, we’d simply teach predators to be nice and be done with it. But unfortunately, that solution does not exist right now. So, we are left with the only alternative: preventing crimes of opportunity by removing the opportunity.
That starts with recognizing dangerous situations. Following recognition, avoidance is our top priority. But we’re human and we all make mistakes, and some situations cannot be avoided. So, we must also learn to escape. And when all escape routes are closed, we must learn to fight our way out. We have found that without that component of last resort, courses of this nature are ineffective. With it, students feel empowered, confident and safer. As a result, they start thinking more about their safety because they feel like they have power over it. Without the self-defense component, students feel scared and helpless, and so they stick their heads in the sand and hope they are never attacked.
This book will teach you how to defend yourself. For this to work, however, you need to practice with someone to make sure the techniques you are using are being done correctly.
Recognizing a bad person
Molly Shattuck was homecoming queen at her high school and made headlines for becoming the oldest cheerleader in NFL history at the age of 38. She married one of the richest men in Baltimore and had three children. She served as Co-Chair of the United Way of Central Maryland and the National Advisory Board for Johns Hopkins Children’s Center. She created a fitness DVD and wrote a lifestyle book called Vibrant Living. Sports Illustrated called her “Martha Stewart on fast-forward.”
In 2015, Molly registered as a sex offender.
Molly molested a 15-year-old boy after starting a texting relationship with him. She began the relationship over Instagram and then by having her son tell the boy “you should text my mom, she is obsessed with you.” Offenders can be very good at flattering you and making you feel special.
Being confronted by a criminal is a terrifying experience that can happen in a totally unexpected manner. More often, however, it involves an escalation of a situation that we know looks or feels bad, but we ignore those feelings because we are impaired, we are not paying attention, or we don’t want to offend the criminal or our notions of polite society.
Had the young man simply trusted his instinct that something was not right and told his parents that his friend’s 47-year-old mother was “obsessed” and wanted to text with him, he never would have been in danger. Having someone obsessed with you generally ends badly.
I’m not minimizing the damage Molly inflicted on her young victim or blaming him for her crime. As his father said, “At the end of the day, there’s nothing that we can do to take this pain away from him.” But he is fortunate it wasn’t worse — she could have had him murdered to cover up her crimes.
If you think that is unlikely, consider what the prosecutor in the case told the court: “This was not a momentary lapse in judgment. She groomed him, seduced him, supplied him with alcohol, then took advantage of him, all for her own gratification.” The young man’s father noted that Molly stood “elbow to elbow” with him at a school social event. “That woman stood right next to me after having raped my son,” he testified. In other words, this was a cold and calculated crime.
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Trust your instincts
Always trust your instincts. Be in tune with them.
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I cannot emphasize enough the importance of trusting your instincts! The legendary Kit Carson explored more of the American West than any person of his time, and did it during the most dangerous period in American history. Carson fought savage wars against the Native Americans and the Confederate States of America. He hunted the most dangerous game and tracked the most dangerous criminals. He was, deservedly so, a legend in his own time, and there is unlikely anyone alive since Carson who exposed him or herself to more dangerous situations. Yet Carson died in his home due to an aneurism the age of 60 when so many others perished in the wilderness. How? He trusted his instincts. As Carson biographer Hampton Sides wrote in the intensively researched Blood and Thunder, “When [Carson] got a bad feeling about something or someone, he was quick to heed his instincts.” If you learn only one thing from this book, it is this: Trust your instincts!
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Yet our whole lives that is what we’ve been trained to do. “Fight fair.” Not this time. Never fight fair with a criminal. You must do everything possible to escape. A part of this book is teaching you how to fight criminals in a totally unfair way.
Some of the techniques you will learn are devastatingly effective. You should not use them unless you believe you are in immediate danger of death or serious injury.
That means fighting only to protect yourself or someone who needs protecting and doing so only as a last resort. Fighting over perceived insults is plain stupid and can land you in jail. As the great military strategist Sun Tsu said, “fight not unless the position is critical.”
Anyone who attacks me on the street thinks they can beat me up, or they wouldn’t be attacking me. And guess what? They’re probably right! Maybe they are a better fighter. Or perhaps they have some advantage I am not aware of, like brass knuckles or a gun or a knife, or five friends coming from behind to help mash me into the pavement. I’m not going to stick around to find out.
I didn’t leave the house looking to fight anyone. I’m going to try and avoid a fight however I can, but if one commences, my goal is to stun and run. I’m not going to try and put my foot on someone’s chest. As Sun Tzu said, no one benefits from a prolonged fight. Avoid the temptation to escalate a fight, that is, to throw a few jabs to see if your attacker will leave you alone.
Once you have decided you have to fight, strike hard at your attacker’s most vulnerable areas with the eye gouge, palm heal or punch to the nose, and knee to the groin (see video at the end of this chapter). Be as relentless and violent as you can. And then run.
Have you ever seen one of those movies where the guy seems to defeat the monster and then sits around panting or celebrating? What are you always saying to yourself at that point in the movie? Get out of there, you idiot! And of course, the monster’s eyes slowly open while the guy has his back turned and then the monster pops up and kills him. Don’t be that guy. Stun and run!
NOTE: Practice this technique every time you go for a run.
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