Statistics Made Real
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As these testimonials illustrate, a sexual assault can happen to anyone, and no place is necessarily “safe”. But some places are safer than others, and the vast majority of crimes involve a progression of events that if recognized, can allow you to escape harm. The testimonials represent the exception to the rule.
The odds
If you flipped a coin 5 times and two of those landed “heads”, those are roughly the odds that you will be sexually assaulted during your lifetime: 43%. That is correct, 43% of American women are sexually assaulted during their lifetimes, and 18% of American women are raped during their lifetimes, many more than once.
A survey of incoming freshmen women at a prestigious private school in the Northeast found that 18% reported an incapacitated attempted or completed rape during high school, and 15% reported a forced attempted or completed rape during high school. Following the first year at the university, 15% reported an incapacitated attempted or completed rape during the first year of university and 9% a forced attempted or completed rape during the first year of university.
By the start of the second year (lifetime prevalence), 26% had experienced an incapacitated attempted or completed rape during their lifetime and 22% a forced attempted or completed rape during their lifetime, with 37% experiencing an attempted or completed rape overall.
These findings are not unique to this particular university. Surveys of higher education institutions nationwide show that between 15-30% of women are sexually assaulted during college, with the average among institutions being 24%.
Sexual assault is not just some theoretical possibility. It is a fact of modern life.
Stacking the deck so the odds are in your favor
When you hear statistics like these, it makes you want to hide in your room and never come out. That is not what I am suggesting you do.
As noted previously, Kit Carson explored, fought in, and lived in the American West during its most dangerous period. He didn’t hide in his room. But, as his biographer Hampton Sides notes, “A life of hard experience on the trail had taught him to be cautious at all times, tuned to danger.”
That is what I am saying: be tuned to danger at all times and at the first sign of trouble, grab the first available weapon if you can find one (you’ll see below that almost anything can be a weapon) and get out of there, just like Kit Carson.
The GOOD NEWS is that you can dramatically reduce the odds that you will be sexually assaulted.
In Canada, a program consisting of four three-hour instructional units taught female college freshmen to recognize and exit dangerous situations. The program provided two hours of self-defense training.
The program was tested at three Canadian universities using an experimental group and a control group that received the traditional college sexual assault program. During their freshman year, experimental group members had 1/2 as many completed rapes and 2/3 fewer attempted rapes as control group members.
Obviously, the best outcome is to avoid an attempted rape altogether, but if one occurs, you can dramatically reduce the risk of the rape being completed and/or significant injury. According to the National Institute of Justice:
Most self-protective actions significantly reduce the risk that a rape will be completed. In particular, certain actions reduce the risk of rape more than 80 percent compared to nonresistance. The most effective actions, according to victims, are attacking or struggling against their attacker, running away, and verbally warning the attacker. In assaults against women, most self-protective tactics reduced the risk of injury compared to nonresistance. … [E]ven when a rape was completed, women who used some form of resistance had better mental health outcomes than those who did not resist.
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Victim blaming
Currently, about 60% of girls who are sexually assaulted will tell a friend. And 40% of those “friends” will say something to the effect of “I don’t believe you” or “It was your fault.” God help you if you are one of those friends, because you will regret that forevermore.
If someone trusts you enough to confide in you that they were sexually assaulted, it is very difficult. You will be shocked. If the person is close to you, you may feel violated yourself. If the perpetrator is known to you, you may not believe s/he is capable of such a thing. You may want to know the circumstances. Please suppress the desire to ask these types of questions or make these observations.
Instead, simply say “I love you, I believe you, what can I do to help you?” You might also encourage them to get medical attention if the assault just happened. Waiting for medical attention can severely limit the medical options, particularly respecting sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.
It is very easy to offend someone when they are telling you about a sexual assault. Your own shock – “I can’t believe it!” – may be taken as accusing the victim of lying. Statements made in frustration and pain, like “I told you stay away from him!” come off as the very annoying “I told you so” or the even worse “You got what you deserved for not listening to me.” The less you talk – other than asking questions like “is there anything else you want to tell me?” – the better. This is the time to listen.
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